Speaking Availability

I speak to a large number of groups each year and give numerous workshops. I love doing it! I've met more intelligent, creative kinky folks in places that I never would have guessed than anyone could ever imagine. I'm up for more!

If you're interested in having me speak please browse through the topics below, find out what my expectations are, and then read through the biographical information for the nitty-gritty.

Though I am quite able to give single seminars, and often do so, I prefer to offer a fuller educational experience to those attending my talks. I really think of all of us as students rather than attendees. To that effect, I have put together three weekend seminars for your consideration:

Our Kinky Lifestyle
	We'll begin with a meet and greet and a slide show about our Kinky History, perhaps on Friday night. Saturday we will discuss our subculture as lived in our vocabulary and our roles; the place of protocols and the Old Guard; and advanced play.
The Master/slave Dynamic
	Friday night we will discuss the roles of masters and slaves, seeing their qualities as sometimes the same, sometimes complementary. On Saturday we will discuss how one discovers his or her place on the M/s continuum; how one finds a partner and negotiates a relationship; and the nuances of what is and what isn't a M/s relationship.
Searching for the Spiritual Side of Sex
	This five seminar experience will begin with The Mind Body Connection; and continue with a look at ancient fertility religions; energy work; the Sacred Circle; and conclude with a discussion about Sex Magic.

Topics
Details
Bio

Suggested Topics

1. The Limits of Domination

The idea of living in a Master/slave relationship is significantly different than the reality of maintaining and enjoying one. How do D/s relationships really work? What guidelines should tops and bottoms use to insure that what they want is what they get? Which limits can we overcome, and how can we do that, and which ones need to be respected? This important topic is a reality check that allows us to go further than we ever dreamed we could.

2. How to Negotiate

Whether you’re looking for a one-night stand or a 24/7/365 LTR, there are ways to negotiate so that both sides win. What is the process of negotiation? How can we make it work better? Beginning by knowing what we want, we will look for ways to understand our prospective partner’s desires, and then continue along the path to creating a satisfying scene, a long term relationship, or anything along that route. Communication is key to getting what you want, but do you know what you want?

3. The Power Dynamic in SM

Many well-known BDSM groups have the word power in their names -- and for good reason. The power exchange is what we’re all about. We will look at how power is exchanged and at ways to make that power flow more powerfully. Techniques include relaxation, visualization, and polarity creation.

4. Polyamory

The when, why, how, where, and what of maintaining multiple sexual relationships. Poly-partnering is becoming more and more acceptable, and certainly more and more evident. It’s not, though, all a bed of roses. How to make it work and how to avoid it when that’s what really counts.

5. Creating Spaces for Good Sex

Whether you live in a studio apartment on a fixed pension or have a trust fund allowance from your Rockefeller uncle, this workshop will talk about the top’s toy bag, the hidden dungeon, and making good sex better by paying attention to the details. A workshop only a former altar boy could do.

6. My God What Am I Doing?

Why do kinky folk do what they do? This seminar will explore the reasons behind our fetishes, with emphasis on the human side of SM. We will look at the Why of SM, with a discussion of what it is and what it isn’t. Our approach will be holistic, recognizing the myriad of forces that bring us together in the dungeon.

7. An Historical Perspective of Kinky Sex

We have an extensive, if hidden and often forgotten, History. There is more to the idea of the “Old Guard” than we think. This slide show / seminar will talk about our past and what it tells us about our present and our future. We will debunk myths and legends so that we are free to create a community as lively and exciting as the ones that created our present lifestyle.

8. The View From the Bottom

There is a wide continuum among SM players about the reality of being a bottom, from abject worshipping slave to pushy, controlling bottom. Whether your bottoming stems from Hedonism, Masochism, or the Desire to Serve, we’ll look at what it means, how to get what you want, and how to find fulfillment in getting to the “root” of what you are. We will take time to look at various fetishes, such as spanking and bondage, to find ways to increase the bottom’s satisfaction and enjoyment. Tops are welcome too.

9. The View From the Top

This seminar explores the meaning of control and domination in an SM relationship. Whether you’re a service top, an experienced Master, or somewhere else on that continuum, there will be something here for you. We’ll cover negotiation, limits, protocols, and getting what you want. The top’s responsibilities will be discussed as well as ways to make sure your bottoms keep coming back for more. Bottoms are welcome too.

10. The Vocabulary and Culture of Kink

A knowledge of our culture and our values helps bond us as a viable, if diverse community. I propose to talk about our values as the prime force that unites us, protects us, and infuses us with who we are. There is more to us than kinky sex. What are the values that we need to have among us, to teach our newbies, and to survive? From our common values we can derive the principles that under-gird our lifestyle and upon which we can continue to be successful

11. Managing a successful web presence

The Internet is a powerful tool for communicating with the world. I will share the experiences of my five year presence on the Internet and ideas open how to create that presence. We will discuss web sites and their hosting, design and maintenance issues, newsgroups and news lists, ezines, and chat rooms. I will also share ways to “market” your group over the Internet.

12. Giving Better Blow Jobs

The anatomy, psychology, and methodology of cock sucking. How to arouse and satisfy your male partner.

13. Manners & Protocols

How do Leather folk treat each other in our various roles? This seminar presents ways for us to relate, top to bottom, bottom to top, master to slave and vice versa, etc. How do “protocols” affect that treatment?

14. The Primal Self

Leather allows a unique expression of our most inner personae. How do SM and sexual activity allow us to express the animal within? How does it put us in touch with our basic instincts? How are we expressing primitive drives for initiation, maturity, and acceptance of self into our kinky community? This is a lot more than just a presentation on biting!

15. Bedroom Play

What do Leatherfolk do when there’s no DM to monitor their play. This is about activities on the edge. Not for the faint-hearted we will discuss sex, anal/oral play, extreme bondage, CBT, humiliation, and the darker sides of what we do.

16. Conflict Resolution & Negotiation

How do we resolve conflicts among and between one another? Interest-based bargaining offers a way to look at what everyone wants and arrive at win-win situations. This workshop presents that Harvard Business School methodology and real world experiences.

17. Rituals for One & Many

We use rituals even when we don’t know we are doing so. What are they? How do they help or hinder us? How can we make them more meaningful. This seminar talks about our public rituals, our private ones, and how we can develop them to best suit our needs and our pleasure. In this seminar we will experience a sacred circle as a prelude to SM.

18. Long Term Relationships

Jack Rinella and his slave Patrick have been in a successful and kinky relationship for more than seven years. Let them explain how to keep your relationship alive and fulfilling. They will discuss communication between partners, ways to arrive at agreement, and hw to maintain a kinky life when the rest of your world keeps you otherwise occupied.

19. The Care & Feeding of Doms

What do Doms need, want, and seek? Often the top maintains a wall of silence in order to maintain his “position.” Let’s take down that wall and look at ourselves and our partners in ways that make everyone enjoy what happens. Without managing from the bottom, we’ll try to help everyone live happily ever after.

20. The Slave’s Point of View

With Jack’s five year’s experience as a slave and Patrick’s seven years, let this master and slave couple explain what really goes on in the slave’s mind and heart. This seminar will demythologize the meaning of slavery and show you that you can make your fantasy life real. We’ll give you courage to seek and live the life you want, no matter where you are on the dominance-submission continuum.

21. Getting Into A Kinky Relationship

Here’s the hows, the wheres, and the whats of finding a partner -- for the scene, for a good time, or for a long time. We all hate the dating game and too often early success becomes a mess. Explore the meaning and the creation of relationships. Whether it’s D/s or love, versatile, open, or old-fashioned, there’ll be something for everyone who’s decided it’s not good to be alone.

22. You name it

I can talk about most anything kinky. What do you want to know? Send me an email and we can come up with some suitable ideas. Better yet, put a phone number in the email and I'll call you.

Some details:

Here are the costs. If this part seems picky to you, I'll tell you the horror stories, though I would rather not.

I will participate in your event, whatever size or location. I require that all my expenses be covered including transportation, admission to the event, room, and board. My fees are negotiable and reasonable and vary according to the size and type of event. I suggest that you invite Patrick. He can do workshops as well or pitch in with mine.

Transportation: I prefer to fly from Chicago non-stop to where you are, if possible. Transportation costs also include to and from O'Hare or Midway airport or the cost of a rental car and gas if it is close enough to drive. Don't forget to get me from the airport to where I need to be. Also, reservations need to be booked early and in my real name, which is NOT Jack Rinella.

Admission to the event covers full comps for me and Patrick.

Room: I prefer to stay in a quiet and clean hotel, especially if the event is in a hotel. If it is not, a quiet home is fine. I tend to be a little allergic so pets, unless they are very clean, are best avoided. I like them but tend to react to them at times. If I am in a home I need a private room with a double bed.

Board: I am a coffee and juice person in the morning and need a decent lunch and a good dinner. It need not be fancy, just healthy. I am a meat and potatoes kind of guy. I prefer a relaxing dinner but realize that the schedule doesn't always allow that. Home cooked meals are fine too. Remember that airport food is really expensive and that there is no food on planes any longer so expect to cover those costs as well, since chances are I'll be traveling all day to you and all day home.

I appreciate a table to sell my books and someone to help me do that. Patrick is good at it, hint, hint.

Additionally you should think about an honorarium. I will help you arrive at a suggested price, depending upon the size of your group. THIS REQUEST IS NEGOTIABLE.

If the above seems difficult, let's talk about it. You can reduce your costs by involving other groups. I can give non-competing workshops, i.e., different topics to different groups. Local retail outlets, especially bookstores, may be willing to chip in as well. In return I can do a book signing at their place or they can vend at yours.

About me:

Jack Rinella, author of The Master's Manual, The Compleat Slave, Partners In Power, The Toy Bag Guide to Clips and Clamps, and his newest book Becoming a Slave, is a free-lance writer, computer professional, and college instructor. A sought-after lecturer, Jack has presented across the country, including the Leather Leadership Conference, Black Rose, Bash at the Beach, The Leather Archives and Museum, Beat Me in St. Louis, Master's Retreat, TES, Headspace in Bloomington, IN, PEER in Cincinnati, and Menamore Leather/Levi Club in Wilmington, NC, South Plains LeatherFest, and many, many more.

Born in upstate New York of Italian-American parents, he's been a high school and college teacher, a drug rehabilitation counselor, a cook, a computer salesman, a Catholic seminarian, a Pentecostal minister, an advertising copy writer, a graphic designer, and has done stints at printing, publishing, telemarketing, head-hunting, and computer consulting.

He has been active in the Leather scene since 1983, is a founding member of MAsT-Chicago, an associate member of the Chicago Hellfire Club, and has written extensively about our lifestyle for nearly eleven years. He is a weekly columnist for Gay Chicago Magazine and his writing has also appeared in Drummer, in The (San Francisco) Sentinel, and in Philadelphia Gay News.

He lives on the North side of Chicago where he passes the time writing, cruising, and falling in love whenever he can. You can contact Jack at mrjackr@Leathermail.com or visit his web site at www.LeatherViews.com.