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"If there is one point I'd like to make in this column, it's this: each of us has the same feelings, fears, and foibles that accompanies all of human nature. We are more alike than we ever acknowledge." Column 27: 1992


Here's What Others Have to Say about Becoming a Slave

Timban

Master Skip

Goddess Lakshimi

Master Alex Keppeler

Christina (slavette) Parker

Master Taino

TammyJo Eckhart

Lisa Flagore writing in Frontiers Magazine

Sealy (Girl in Voluntary Service)

I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed your book ‘Becoming a Slave’. I’ve actually already been a slave for eight years, so some of the material in the book wasn’t really relevant to my particular situation, but the book was still filled with good ideas for me to put into practice. Reading a chapter a day also really helped set me into the right mental space to serve, and I’ve constantly been improving my practices, habits, and routines with some of the basic tenets and ideals in the book. My Master has also seen a good bit of improvement since I’ve read your book, as now that I am more focused and centered on service and his wills, wants and pleasures, he can put forth more effort and confidence into being the Master.

Now I’m just waiting for my copy of ‘The Complete Slave’ to arrive. I hope it is as useful to Master and I as the first book I read from you. Thank you for the lessons, they’ve made me feel more complete and fulfilled. Thanks!

 

 

 

 

I finished "Becoming a Slave" over the holidays and I want to tell you how much I enjoyed it. It's exceptionally insightful, and having Patrick contribute a closer to each chapter was brilliant. In my opinion it's your best book yet.

Master Skip

* * * * *

 

 

Jack Rinella's NEW book "Becoming a Slave" offers two different views which make the book exciting and wonderful, one from being a Master and one from being a slave. It gives both The Master and The Slave a unique opportunity to see, feel and understand the other side of the relationship. An investment in this book will pay for itself hundreds of times over as it is a help to all involved within our Leather Lifestyle. If you are a Master you will find the book inspiring and helpful. If you are a slave you will find this book particularly insightful and full of help to understand the thoughts, concerns and functions of a true slave.

Light and Much Love
Goddess Lakshimi

*****

 

 

Jack Rinella tackles this challenging topic of Becoming a Slave with his usual careful teaching manner and straight forward talk, laying out a clear process to the transformation that leads to successful voluntary servitude. This book is a "must read" for the wannabe slave as well as the experienced slave and master.

Master Alex Keppeler
National Executive Director, Masters And slaves Together (MAsT)

*****

 

 

"Becoming a Slave" offers valuable insights for people taking their first steps on the path of slavery, as well as for established slaves and their masters. This book is a much needed addition to the precious few resources available to slaves who want to live the reality rather than dream the fantasy.

Christina (slavette) Parker, International slave 2002

*****


 

 

In a well written, step-by-step guide on how to become a consensual slave, Jack focuses on the steps along that lead to the goal. The reflections provided by his slave Patrick give clarity and a complementary perspective. Jack gives great insight into the Master / slave relationship, and provides a guide that could be useful in not just M/s relationships but in any human relationship.

Master Taino, Producer, Master/slave Conference & Master Taino's Training Academy

*****


 

 

Jack Rinella is a well-known gay leatherman with five books, a weekly column, and at least one short story to his publishing credit. Becoming a Slave: The Theory & Practice of Voluntary Servitude is his fifth non-fiction book. A sort of follow-up to The Compleat Slave, this book is geared toward helping any would-be BDSM or leather slave find his/her way toward consensual slavery.


If you spend much time online in the various kinky boards, lists, or newsgroups you will soon see that the topic of "the way to be a slave" arises time and again. Immediately there are problems with the very idea of this one mysterious "way" to do something that is uniquely individual. Contrary to those looking to make a quick buck or in need of pumping up their own egos, there is no "the way" to do anything.
Rinella is fully aware of this reality because he has been a consensual slave and a master for over a decade and a leatherman for two decades. Becoming a Slave isn't "the way," but it is a realistic approach to discovering what a potential slave is looking for, how to find it, and how to live it. Rinella promises to make us think and to give us real-life examples of 24/7 realities that are much more than those fiction stories we all love to read.


The book has 15 chapters, though they are not numbered. For this reason I will not label each chapter with a number but instead devote one paragraph to each chapter. The overarching question must be: Does Rinella give us the theory and the practice his title promises? In short, will this book help you become that slave you dream about?


The introduction is a Rinella classic, focused on explaining his approach, his language, and his style of writing. One suspects that this "teacher" methodology works well both in a workshop and over time, for those who are open to the idea of becoming slaves as a process, not as a magical moment.


There is a rampant fantasy that slaves must adapt to their owners. Instead the most successful 24/7 relationships are built just like all human pairings and families: on a foundation of shared values and interests. Rinella lists several complementary traits for the slave and master to share, but throughout the chapter and his book it is clear that this is a two-way dynamic with give and take from all partners.


What makes someone want to become a consensual slave? There are many reasons, and Rinella covers several of them. There is no one true "call to serve." Feeling that desire to be a slave is not the same as becoming one, because not everyone can earn your service and obedience. You have to realize you want this path first before you can embark on finding an owner.


The most popular question I've seen online, at munches, and at events focuses on finding the partner who will help you make your fantasy a reality. Rinella looks at a few of the most popular ways to find a partner. Beyond this he is very honest about how most of the attempts will fall flat but that someone who feels the call to be a slave must continue to search honestly and completely. It won't be one email, one phone call, or one meeting but a series of contacts over weeks and months.
So months have gone by, and now you are owned, right? Wrong. According to Rinella the most successful and fulfilling slave-owner relationships are based on good, solid negotiation. This process isn't so much like a business arrangement as it is a serious focus on communication and finding mutually satisfying means to enact the power dynamics you wish to pursue. This chapter is all about negotiating from the slave position, and it is a powerful and empowering position if you are honest about yourself and your mundane life.


What are you negotiating? In other words, what type of a relationship are you willing and wanting to commit to? Rinella looks at several stumbling blocks that numerous slaves he has known used, primarily unconsciously, to keep their fantasies at bay. This chapter is likely to destroy many of the typical ideas about what being a slave means and how these relationships work out in the modern world. But if you are serious about becoming a consensual slave you must confront these myths and work with real life.


Have you heard of slave training? If you've been in the BDSM or leather world for more than a few months, you have. Rinella describes what training is at a basic level and various approaches to training. Just as in teaching, this is a process that must be actively pursued by everyone involved. The potential slave who just kneels there and expects to soak all the knowledge up will likely fail quickly.


Slave training is a more specialized form of training, not because it has particular universal protocols and positions, but because it is learning to serve and bend your will to the owner. Throughout this chapter Rinella emphasizes again and again that the attitude and the will of the owner should be paramount in any training. Claims of "correct" protocols and "proper" ways of being a slave are rightfully pooh-poohed by Rinella.


Punishment, not the excuse-to-do-SM or feel-less-guilty kind, but the real you-messed-up-and-there-are-consequences kind of punishment, is covered briefly but importantly in the next chapter. The very concept of punishment between two consenting adults is a certain way to get an argument started in almost any kinky venue. Again, what works for Rinella may not work for you, but his idea that it shouldn't be pleasant for anyone and that it should encourage changes is solid.
The next chapter covers several topics. These are not "small stuff" but actually subjects that again can result in disagreements or wonderful discussions among those practicing 24/7. How do you live this 24/7? What do you wear? How is it all paid for? Your fantasies on these matters are yours, but the mundane world will affect how you can live these out, not to mention the fantasies of your owner.


I was very surprised when the next chapter was titled "The Real Slave." To this point, Rinella has been a big proponent of 24/7 as a unique relationship. He isn't claiming a mold that a potential slave must fill but instead an attitude that he has found very common among those in successful relationships. The keys are honesty, the desire and the willingness to bend to the owner's will, and the ability to let your slavery empower you. Does that sound strange? If you have been in a successful 24/7 relationship, I don't think you'll find the idea of an empowered slave very odd at all.


Where has the sex been in this entire book? In the bestselling novels and short stories it often seems that consensual slavery is one non-stop orgasm for everyone involved. Nice, but not realistic, and Becoming a Slave is about making your slavery real. This chapter looks at how sex can and cannot be a part of a 24/7 relationship. The vignettes from Rinella on life as a slave as well as the lives of others is a great way to picture what he is talking about in this chapter.


At the heart of consensual slavery is obedience. Rinella says this time and time again. Sex can be a part of it, and the mundane world must be taken into consideration. Those things that are traditionally kinky - SM, bondage, fetishes, etc. - can all be a part of 24/7 but are not necessarily always there. Rinella gives several examples of how kink can be used to make the owner-slave dynamic more powerful and rewarding.


So being a slave means you have to continue to live in the mundane world and be obedient to your owner, putting their will above your own. Normally if you have taken it slowly, been honest in your negotiations, and tried to work within the necessities of life, you should have a good relationship. But will it be monogamous or poly or something else? It is a very complicated question, and more often than not it seems that those seeking to be slaves or to own slaves expect monogamy to some degree. Rinella discusses the types of sexual arrangements that are successful, but he does not endorse any one type of sexual relationship.


Over and over, Rinella exposes the reality of 24/7 as a relationship between individuals. Thus the final chapter of his book is a guide to how to keep it healthy and fulfilling for everyone involved. Some of these ideas may seem counter to the fiction one might jack off to, but by and large every successful slave-owner couple or family I've known follows several of these ideas. Whether it is a periodic review of how things are going, having vacation time from the dynamics, or maintaining other types of relationships, every one needs to be all they can be.


At the end of each chapter there are two additional features in Becoming a Slave that make this book unique and particularly useful. First, Patrick, who has been Rinella's slave for over nine years, offers his own view on the topics each chapter covers. While we might expect him to merely parrot what his master has written, we find instead well-thought-out and experience-supported ideas. While the close-minded might think the master's voice more important, skipping over these "Reflections" would be a grave error. You want to become a slave, right? Who better to hear about that reality than from someone who has achieved this status?
There are also a series of further activities at the very end of the chapters which ask the reader to reflect on the subjects covered. Most of the exercises are mental or written, but some ask you to go out and get involved in the kink community or do something to increase your future value. Doing these and reading this book slowly are the best way to get the most from Becoming a Slave.


I really like this book, the way it approaches each subject, the honest and down-to-earth language and the careful focus on each word and meaning Rinella uses. The end-of-chapter activities are very valuable; I may adopt some in my own training. Besides all of Rinella's experience and writing, what makes this book most useful are the personal examples and the reflections of his own slave, Patrick. These are two men who have been living their fantasy for over nine years. Their life gives hope to those who want to be in their shoes.

TammyJo Eckhart, Author and Book Reviewer for KinkyBooks.com

*****

 

 

“Becoming a Slave” is a straightforward account of the step by step process of doing just that. Rinella doesn’t often use stories as illustrative metaphors, but instead engages the reader with clear, concise narrative to exemplify the internal changes necessary to living a life of voluntary servitude.

The irony here is that despite the fringe subject matter, Rinella often addresses universal themes that all relationships must practice to create harmonic longevity. He reminds us of our intrinsic right to “safety, fulfillment, and happiness,” and gives sage advice to cope with fear and doubt.

There is more to this book, however, than sage advice on how to conduct a successful relationship. Lest the reader forget that slavery is also an erotic pursuit, Rinella recounts several of the steamy experiences of his past (all for the purposes of instruction, of course).

Rounding out “Becoming a Slave” are the reflections at the end of each chapter by Rinella’s slave, Patrick. His insightful and sensitive addition to this book provides the perfect counterpoint to Rinella’s more assertive style.

The multi-faceted nature of “Becoming a Slave” gives the reader a comprehensive set of tools to demystify and embrace the path of slavery. In Rinella’s own words, “This book is about change, which leads to the unknown. Facing the unknown takes courage, but take heart as you can change into that which you seek.”

Lisa Flagore writing in Frontiers Magazine

*****

 

 

My Sir and I had a recent long road trip here in Texas (aren't they all) and I got to read to Sir from the book on the way up and back, and talk about it. It was and still is a great experience for us, we are still working on it. It is well written and I really hope that people will take it to heart. We find that it is full of useful, practical and commonsense information.

I am glad that Patrick contributed. His views are right on target and it is a pleasure getting the perspective of another non-cyber LOL slave.

Good Luck on the sales. We have passed on the info to folks in various groups we belong to. It is a great book and not to be missed.

Sealy Gives
(girl in Voluntary Service)


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