A Quick Note about My Writing Style 3
Wannabes 5
Trainees 5
Applicants 5
Slaves 5
The Approach I Take 6
About Patrick's Reflections 9
Acknowledgements 9
Patrick Reflects: First Thoughts 10
After Reading Activities 13

Authority and Obedience 18
Dominance and Submission 19
Responsibility 21
Trustworthiness 23
Security 26
Satisfaction 27
Empowerment 28
Complementary Qualities 28
Patrick Reflects: A Yin-Yang Sort of Thing 29
After Reading Activities 31

The Purpose of Slavery 35
The Role of Will in a D/s Relationship 37
Surrender 39
Obedience 43
Bonding 44
Service 44
The Call Itself 45
Patrick Reflects: Answering the "Call" 46
After Reading Activities 46

Your Unique Expression 50
Expectations 52
Early Protocols 55
The Search 56
The Ad 57
The Interview 60
The First Meeting 62
Clicking 63
The Experiment 65
Evaluation 66
References 69
Upping the Ante 70
Patrick Reflects: How to Find a Master 71
After Reading Activities 75

The Nature of Negotiations 80
Petitions 81
The Slave Petition 83
What You Want 85
Why You Want it 85
What You Will Do to Get It 85
The Contract 85
Timely Considerations 87
The Value of Half a Loaf 89
Patrick Reflects: Negotiation Pitfalls 90
After Reading Activities 95

The Myth of the Plunge 98
Fear of Failure 101
Getting Ready 101
Priorities 103
Experience 104
Degrees of Commitment 105
Understanding the Deal 106
Legal Considerations 107
No Escape 107
Rights 109
Having a Scene 110
An important Note about Failure 111
Part-time 111
Phone & Cyber 112
Other Kinds of Slaves 113
Patrick Reflects: Making it Work 113
After Reading Activities 119

Defining Goals 124
Introduction 125
Direction 125
Explanation 126
Performance 126
Evaluation 126
Correction 126
Repetition 127
Encouragement & Inspiration 127
Removing Blocks & Unloading Baggage 128
Panic & Prevention 131
The Bottom's Responsibility 132
For the Top 132
In Summary 133
Patrick Reflects: Real Training Isn't What You Think It Is 134
After Reading Activities 136

Understanding the Request 138
Admitting Your Limits 138
Formal Training 140
Protocols 140
Slave as Reflection 143
The Hidden Value of Protocols 144
Demeanor 144
Patrick Reflects: Slave Skills 147
After Reading Activities 149
A Contrary Opinion 154
Proper Punishment 155
Deprivation 158
Patrick Reflects: When it REALLY Hurts! 158
After Reading Activities 160

Fear 161
Safer Sex 165
The Next Problem 167
The 24/7 Dilemma 170
Everyday Living 172
Rituals 175
Dress & Markings 175
The Mutual Need for Expression 177
Considering Reality 177
Domestic Violence 178
Financial Considerations 181
The End 183
Patrick Relfects: From the Slave's Vantage Point 184
After Reading Activities 189

Will & Ego 191
Ego and Slavery 192
The Basis for Surrender 193
Setting Priorities 194
The Gift of Self 195
The Proud Slave 195
Devotion 195
The Last Word about Real Slavery 196
Patrick Reflects: Being Real 196
After Reading Activities 202

Fear of Intimacy 205
Duty to Arouse the Master 207
Knowing One Another 208
Owning Our Bodies & Giving Them Away 208
Physical Intimacy 209
Affection 213
The Conundrum of Reversal 215
Chastity 216
When Sex Is a Duty and Other Considerations 217
Another Conclusion 218
Patrick Reflects: Sex, Chastity and Orgasms 218
After Reading Activities 222

Expressing Control 226
Bondage 227
Sadism 228
Discipline and Fetish 229
Intensity and Edge Play 230
Humiliation 232
Worship 234
Care and Safety in All of This 235
The Last Word on Kink 238
Patrick Reflects: It's Not All Whips and Chains 238
After Reading Activities 239

Monogamy 242
Polyamory 243
Promiscuity 244
Infidelity 245
The Need for Knowledge of Self 245
Three Ways and More 246
Jealousy 247
Families and Stables 248
Alpha and Beta Slaves 249
Patrick Reflects: Who Is the Possession? 250
After Reading Activities 253

The Periodic Review 256
Separate Spaces 257
Suggestions for Long Term Relationships 258
The Unspoken Reality 260
In Summary 262
Patrick Reflects: Relationship Survival 262
After Reading Activities 266

Glossary 271

An Interview with Patrick 283

Resources 291