Acknowledgments
Introduction:
First Thoughts
About Slavery
The
titles of master
and slave are
bantered about
quite freely
in leather/fetish/kinky
circles. To
listen to conversations
in bars, clubs,
bedrooms, playrooms
and dungeons,
one would get
the idea that
slavery is alive
and well among
the devotees
of leather.
That's just
not the case...
Chapter
1: Straight Talk:
Explaining Terms
So,
what is SM?
Though
I am going to
use the term
"slave"
frequently,
I do so because
there isn't
another word
that works.
I'm not really
writing about
slavery, I'm
writing about
a situation
more aptly called
"voluntary
servitude"...
slavery isn't
slavery because
it is consensual.
There are no
constraints
that bind Master
and slave except
the ones that
they create.
A
boy is what
he wants to
be.
Chapter
5: The Master
Confidence
Makes a Master.
The
confidence a
master has to
weld has to
extend further
than the end
of a whip. Certainly,
the admission
that one is
a sadist and
has the right
to enjoy sadistic
activity is
part of a master's
character. Sadism,
though, is only
one of the two
ways that dominance
is exercised,
albeit a noticeable
one.
Marks
of a Master
Who's
Kidding Whom?
Chapter
6: The Slave
So
You Want to
Be a Slave.
Becoming
the slave you
want to be takes
a willingness
to change. That
may seem easy
enough. But
what we forget
is that the
changes might
not be the kind
we want to embrace...
Chapter
7: Fear and Details
One
day I was approached
by a man in
whom I had no
interest. We
had a polite
conversation
and I told him
"No"
as gently and
friendly as
is possible.
As he walked
away, I reminded
myself that
this was my
body and I had
every right
to share it
or not share
it as I please.
It was okay
for me to say"No".
Getting
What You Want.
So
What Are You
Saying?
A
Time Table for
Enthrallment
It
was then that
I realized it
was just as
permissible
for someone
else to tell
me the same
thing. Whomever
I approach has
the same rights
as I have. When
they exercise
that right its
not a statement
about me, but
rather a it's
about their
preferences
and their pleasures.
Chapter
8: That First
Meeting
The
second requirement
is that you
devote yourself
to your top's
pleasure. I
am making an
important assumption
here: that is,
you will enjoy
making him or
her feel good.
If pleasuring
your top isn't
a pleasurable
experience for
you, then why
are you doing
it?
Your
First Scene.
Chapter
9: Humiliation,
Paddling, Chastity,
Nudity, Punishment
Warning:
The Language
in This Section
Is Offense.
My
trusty dictionary
says that to
humiliate is
"to lower
the pride or
dignity of;
mortify."
Humiliation
can also be
called "degradation".
It's certainly
a practice that
flies in the
face of empowerment,
encouragement,
and edification.
Humiliation
is about as
far from PC
as you can get.
It smacks pride
right in the
face.
Pick
a Paddle.
Everything
About Chastity
Belts.
Thoughts
on Being Naked.
Pain,
too: Punishment
Chapter
10: How To Give
Oral-Genital Pleasure
To
say that cock
sucking and
cunt-licking
are an integral
part of sex
seems redundant...
We
will end when
his cock has
raised itself
in glorious
orgasm, spewing
its life-force
all over his
torso. His cock
will bring him
to what the
French call
"le petit
mort,"
the little death,
an incredible
moment when
time stands
still and ecstasy
consumes the
moment.
Chapter
11: The Deep End
Let's
Dare Talk About
It
Domestic
violence is
not an easy
topic to deal
with because
it can bring
up a lot of
complicated
emotions in
all of us: pain,
shame, betrayal,
guilt, or fear.
But we need
to understand
and recognize
the signs of
abuse, the cycle
of abuse (build-up,
confrontation,
and honeymoon),
and know what
resources are
available to
us.
Financial
Aspects of Slavery
If
you're negotiating,
ask about budgeting,
saving for the
future, and
eliminating
debt. If the
slave won't
be working outside
the home, how
will he or she
be supported?
Know what contingencies
there are for
emergencies,
for comfort,
and for the
future.
Healthy
SM
Chapter
12: Leather Images
and Leather Emotions
The
Image of Leather.
Leather
and Emotions
It's
important that
we not play
therapist, "play
Dear Abby,"
or play God.
Real psychological
work takes time
and expertise.
Short of those
three roles,
though, the
play room presents
an incredible
opportunity
to tune into
another person
and touch them-
as they touch
you- in very
important intimate
ways.
Chapter
13: Ends and Odds
Ending
Slavery
If
you're thinking
slavery is forever,
you are certainly
thinking of
an ideal situation.
My
Lover Wants
a Three-Way
Chapter
14: Leather and
Love
When
Your Master
Comes For Dinner
What
makes looking
for a full-time
slave so difficult
is that real
or ideal master-slave
relationships
are so rare
that you are
almost certain
never to have
seen one.
More
About Love
Chapter
15: Doing It For
Real
The
Dynamics of
Power and Pain
We
have been socialized
from birth to
eschew power.
Society, of
course, has
mixed feelings
in that regard:
we honor the
powerful wealthy,
we elect politicians
to power, we
obey the power
of our religious
leaders. At
the same time,
most people
accept their
own powerlessness.
SM
Travel
The
Best Teacher
Your
turn
My
Personal Book
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Application
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Expectations
and Regulations